America occasionally looks at herself in the mirror and realizes she needs to spend more some time on a skin regimen for her face.
Yesterday, she scrubbed off some old dead skin using a Liberal amount of exfoliant, recommended by 6 out of 9 beauty professionals.
The other three had other recommendations, but all of their suggestions used outmoded animal (“that’s what god put ‘em here for, for us to use!”) testing. So, no surprise there.
Looking all fresh and pretty and anew, self-esteem gained, she also finally ditched an old coot of a boyfriend, Strom Thurmond, who surely will not be missed, and who is likely already legislating in Satan’s Senate.
Though the heat may prove to be a distraction, surely Strom will remember to step close to the mic, and speak into the machine.