I’m so fucking tired right now. And I love every little moment of this moment, right now.
Today started in much the same way that other days here have started, with a pleasant little walk down the main drag in Guerneville to the Coffee Bazaar for my daily doses of caffeine and solitude. I didn’t get anything more added to the huge leap I made yesterday with respect to the new novel, but I did get to surf the internet on the dialed-up iMac there, just to check make sure my server was still cranking away and accessible to the world, and to check in on other bloggers.
As I was walking back to Fife’s, the fire dept was being mobilized to a spot just past Fife’s, just outside the western edge of town. Turns out it was my friend Lance’s brand new car that got wrecked by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel. No one was hurt, but the driver managed to damage three parked cars. In the morning, he’ll be renting a car so we can get back to San Francisco.
He was in good spirits, though, and the day went on with only little bits of gallows-type humor. We spent the day at Fife’s pool; there was an auction, and then there was poolside dancing.
I must have danced for 2 hours, without shoes, shaking my ass to some seriously fun stuff. I was a different person after all that, a much less burdened guy with a brilliant perspective on the world. Happy-happy.
We all hung out at the gang’s campsite (I am staying at a different site to most of them), just sitting there talking. Like old men on a porch or young kids on a stair.
I went to the bonfire tonight, but only stayed a little while. Too fucking tired. I did get a chance to hang a bit, though, with a newer friend, one I met in San Francisco a few months ago, a guy who is easily one of the most magnetic and beautiful men I have met in a very long time—and that’s saying something, having lived in the City as long as I have.
He is married, though, and my interests have a pretty specific focus elsewhere. It just blows me away when those moments hit…where the five senses overwhelm you—or fail you utterly, I can’t tell. Little tips and shards of light that zing back and forth, heat distortions in the air, sounds with unexpected harmonics. Forget opposable thumbs and walking upright; it’s this kind of inexplicable magic that sets us apart from lesser beasts.
I’m glad the spiritual end of the event happened tonight, and finished off with a quiet conversation with FTP in front of the bonfire.
As I said, I’m a different man today than I was yesterday, a man I have been before, though because I recognize him. And I’m glad he’s back.