Dear Everyone But America

Out of concern for reprisal, oblique or otherwise, we must greet the Leader of the “Free” World with laurels and not accusations.

But a grand apologia to the rest of the world? I can manage that before any smoking gun is found.

Were I a Republican, I should set out to find someone to blame, for in the absence of Good Will (buddy, can ya spare some?), democratic forms require a scapegoat. And there’s no good will anymore; it’s all been sucked up by the evangelical christians who insist on installing their own craziness where there’s access to a big red button.

So who can the Republicans scapegoat? Well, my money’s on Europe. You guys kicked out the Evangelicals of their day back in the 1600s and now they’re back, angry, gloating. Ascendancy achieved.

Yes, it’s Revenge of the Pilgrims.

From those of us feeling trapped inside our own vast country—too big for its britches, too wealthy to still possess shame—we’re sorry for what suffering the American Empire is about to bring to the rest of those who share this planet of ours.

We’re sorry. I am sorry.