The Upside of Being Alone

I’m not burying the lead (as I’m so famous for doing) when I say up front that the downside to breaking up with someone you love is significant and unalterable. Some think that throwing yourself into a new relationship is a cure-all, or throwing yourself at, on or under everything with a penis and a pulse is the way to moving on, but not for me. I have to face it all head on, let it pass over and through me, and just stand up to and, well, stand it. Endure it.

Otherwise, you live in fear of being attacked from behind by what you left behind. Or rather, what refused to be left behind no matter how much you tried to ignore it.

The Native Americans (judeo-christian-godless as they were) knew the value and purpose of serenity. As do I, after all that’s happened in my life thus far. Death has a lesson, if you’re human enough to be open to the learning.

It is with that class of in vivo academics on my C.V. that I turn to the positive aspects of being alone. While the downside is a massive and monolithic singleton, the upsides are a happy multitude of lilting and lovely things, sips of nectar from an unexpected blossom in that part of the wood where flowering trees are plentiful.

Today, my Babycakes is visiting the City with her son, Sean. I’m at Cafe Commons, the place that has been sometimes more of a home to me than the house I’ve lived in, just up the hill, for nearly thirteen years. It is as well-situated as a man could ever ask for.

Despite the embarrassment of riches of people in my life like Judy, like Jerry, Fred, the DogPoet, Davids M. & B., PamPam, James, Jennie-Jennie, Michael, Derek, Bubba, Steve, JP, the Rhino, and, especially, my family back East, it does well to remember those with whom I no longer are beholden to associate with, or at least stay my tongue around (sorry for the dangles).

For just as free with the love and positivity I am with those I love, when you’re single you can be as blunt and disarming as your own judgement tells you is appropriate, with those you would never have otherwise abided. And appropriateness for me requires the bluntness to be constructive and the harshness of the lessons conveyed to be without compromise.

I’m quite good at thinking on my feet while still not shooting from the hip. (And other bodypart idioms as well!)

So I look forward to candor unfettered. It’s one of those sips of nectar that may bring lessons. Lessons for myself as well.

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