Pat’s Milkshake is Better Than Yours

Pat Robertson has a Jesus- age defying shake available here. It’s just too fucking weird.

Did you know that if you replace “milkshake” with “Jesus”, you mostly end up with a song about Pat Robertson and his Church Empire 700 Club? No, it’s true! Here:

[Repeat x2]<br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And they’re like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours,<br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> I know you want it, <br/> The thing that makes me, <br/> What the guys go crazy for.<br/> They lose their minds, <br/> The way I wind,<br/> I think it’s time<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> Warm it up.<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> The boys are waiting<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And they’re like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> I can see you’re on it,<br/> You want me to teach thee<br/> Techniques that freaks these boys,<br/> It can’t be bought,<br/> Just know, thieves get caught,<br/> Watch if your smart,<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> Warm it up,<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> The boys are waiting,<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And their like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> Oh, once you get involved,<br/> Everyone will look this way-so,<br/> You must maintain your charm,<br/> Same time maintain your halo,<br/> Just get the perfect blend,<br/> Plus what you have within,<br/> Then next his eyes are squint,<br/> Then he’s picked up your scent,<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> Warm it up,<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> The boys are waiting,<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And their like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge

Isn’t that utterly, utterly creepy? However, it does explain a LOT.

Nod to skittles for the original link.

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