Fuck Reuters and Fuck the Pope

Reuters runs this ad on cnet’s news.com.com:


And if you follow the ad’s link, you get another story about the Pope bitching and whining about the “folly” of gay marriage as he belittles the “freedom of choice”.

Wasn’t Free Will a Gift of the Creator? Call it a cassock & surplice, or call it a robe, but it’s still a dress he’s bedecked in, and so I can call it crossdressing. Isn’t it fun to fuck with word-meanings?

All these “signs” of Western “decay” point to “an eclipse of God” in the West.

So while we’re telling Reuters and the Pope to fuck the fuck off, let’s include Catholic butt-boy Aquinas in it, too: who the fuck cares about your theories of god playing unstoppable badminton with an immovable shuttlecock? God isn’t playing physics, y’all, he’s too busy sunning himself under a sun that he can lose access to.

Oh, and Reuters? O Bastion of “Liberal Media”? You’re missing a third checkbox: Equality.

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Blogging at 70mph

I’m sitting in the back seat of a Chevy, tooling down I-280 towards work. It’s a makeshift carpool, and a temporary one. Soon I’ll be back to being green and taking CalTrain.

Regardless, here I am. It’s very foggy down here at the intersection of Route 92 and I-280. Crystal Springs Lake, a reservoir, is off to the right. The mountain range behind it is confluent with trees so large that it tricks the eye into thinking that the mountains are either smaller than they are, or closer than they are. It’s a strange effect.

The speed of the internet connection varies wildly while driving–especially up and down 280. Even though it basically rides mountaintops from San Francisco to the South Bay, the occasional valleys cause issues, as does the weird tower-switching thrash at a couple of points along the way.

Here’s what I got at a given moment near the Redwood City/Atherton exit:

There’s nowhere in my life I can’t have internet access if I want or need it. That’s more of a bad thing than a good thing, but I’m a nerd at heart—well, among other things—and I do it because I can. Maybe that just makes me intellectually hedonistic: gotta feed your head, man.

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Speaker Pelosi

There are some things that you just have to say outloud. And often. Say it with me: “Speaker Pelosi!”

Ahhhhh. There. That’s better.

They should sell a contraption to help all the rabid righties out there untwist their knickers, cuz there’s a lot of that going around, I tell you.

All afraid of something they aptly call “San Francisco Values”.

Tell you what: this country could use more than a little dose of San Francisco Values.

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Flippity Floppity

It seems the whole political system has done a flip flop. For so long, it seemed that the Democrats misplaced one foot in front of another, where even to stumble would be an improvement.

Now Nancy Pelosi has hit the ground running and making quite an impression already.

The Republicans, on the other hand…well, just two words: Trent Lott.

Helmet-hair is baaaa-aaaaack!

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Riddle Me This, Zune!

Zune-BrownWhat costs 1.2531646¢ each and ends up being trapped inside a black, white or baby-shit green-brown prison?

Why, a Zune point, of course!

In a marketing move that borrows heavily from Barumian tactics, the Zune player debuted today along with the Zune music store. In the Zune store, you must first buy Zune points, in blocks of $5 at a time.

Then, you browse the Zune store to discover that songs are only 79 points!!!

Wow…they’re totally spanking Apple now! First a brown-noise-player that’s bigger and bulkier and browner than an iPod, and then songs undercutting iTunes by twenty cents….errrrrr….points….Points. Make sense?

Here’s the kicker. 79 Zune points costs you 99¢.

Did they really think people would fall for that?

On the iTunes store, I can click a 99¢ song and it downloads, and the charge is added to my Visa card. Done.

On Zune, I must buy $5.00-worth of points…about 400 points. Then I can go buy about 5 songs. At 79 points per song. Total point cost: 395 points. Leaving me about 4 or 5 points remaining.

Seriously, do you think we’re dumb as brown-green Zune shit?

But hey, at least I can wirelessly share a song from an obscure CD that I ripped myself, and you can listen to it on YOUR zune for 3 plays (even 1 second’s worth of play counts as a full play) or 3 days, whichever comes first. At which point, since it’s probably not on Zune’s store, you won’t be able to buy it, but it will still just sit there on your Zune, unplayable and taking up space.

At least the Zune’s bigger-but-not-higher-rez screen will let you play those Zune movies you bought on—oh wait. No movies.

One upside: take your Zune to Quebec and let them giggle at you calling it your own personal pee-pee/tinkle/hoo-hoo/kitty.

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I’ve Finally Been To Me

NovSo this Saturday is the November installment of a dance club/event called “Bearracuda”. It’s a themed event, geared towards to jovial boys with sometimes jovian bodies, and with lots of follicular, furry, fleecy, fuzzy funness. “And their admirers.”

A couple of months ago I was approached by the producer of the event (a tall, handsome, can’t-say-no-to kind of guy) to be a “model” for their events. I had been to one of these events before, and it was a whole mess of fun, aaaaand, having never done anything like this before, I said, “Sure, why not!”

And so I did.

For the last few weeks, posters featuring me and a guy called David with our shirts off made their appearance on the web and, more germanely, in the Castro. As Paula-Bone and I were walking down the street last week, I came face to face with….ME! There was my visage, in all its circular glory, hanging on the door of an softcore porn erotica store.

Click on the pic and take a look, IF YOU DARE!!!

But by all means, don’t let the bearity of the event, or more likely, my face gracing the poster, stop you from attending the event this Saturday, November 18. The Deco Lounge is a fun place, and everyone’s friendly and there’s zero attitude. It’s classic Bear, without the typical bitchiness from the lookists.

All that said, my favorite feedback so far for the poster comes from my friend Derek: “That poor cub, with the PleasurePiggy stuck to his back!”

I love my friends, I love my friends, I love my friends…

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“Gay Marriage” and “Pro-Life”

Same-sex Marriage is not gay marriage. It’s marriage. You don’t have to be gay to avail yourself of a same-sex marriage. Just like I can avail myself of the institution of marriage right now, so long as the one I’m marrying has an inny to my out-y.

Pro-Life is not Pro Life: it’s Pro-pagation of the Faith. I should know, I remember the agency’s relationship the Diocese of Scranton. Every Diocese makes obeisance to the Society for the Propagation of the Faith. After all, it’s the sales & marketing arm of the Catholic Church and no amount of truth (or “Truth”) is enough to keep membership up. It’s like KQED and Public Television: it’s free and it’s awesome, but you still have to have membership drives—and some of the funds raised by the membership drive go to fund the next membership drive, etc., etc.

On the other hand, I never thought the word “gay” would be said so frequently and so relatively blithely by everyone. Still, it’s a demonizing word when used to build the phrase “gay marriage”. It’s ironic, too, because as the Rightwingers attempt to separate marriage from gay marriage, their real argument is that people will confuse them as the same thing and therefore the notion of marriage will mean nothing.

You know, it’d be like Baptists saying that Catholics aren’t Christians because if you let the Catholics call themselves Christian then Christianity will be diluted by welcoming everyone to Jesus.

And look! A timely timing for me. Today the Catholics issued a set of guidelines on how to handle the homos. They’re (we’re) supposed to be welcomed, but we’re not to have sex or, god forbid, fall in love. We’re only supposed to ‘come out’ to a ‘small group of people’—I have a feeling that they didn’t explicitly set a number on what constitutes ‘small group’. And if we ‘openly embrace’ the ‘homosexual lifestyle’ (what is this, the 1970s?), then we are not permitted to hold ‘leadership positions’ in the Church. Does that mean that only bottoms of the non-pushy variety are allowed to be as out and proud and stylishly-lived as they wish and still be held close to Jesus’ muscular bosom?

So get it right, folks. It’s same-sex marriage. If you’re straight, you can have one. The gays aren’t interested in abridging straight’s rights. You’d be able to marry within or without your own gender, just like everyone else. As an added bonus, your race will be rendered equally moot with respect to your choices!

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