“I, Rank Scrotum”

That’s R-I-C-K-S-A-N-T-O-R-U-M, anagramized.

Or exposed. Exposed for what he really is. Whatever.

With apologies to the interruption I’m creating in easier-thinking of the right-wing whack-jobs “out” there, I am most certainly not a student of schadenfreude. I don’t enjoy the misfortune of others; however, I don’t have to make the effort to help certain people avoid bad things happening to them.

Sometimes irony is more than just a useful rhetorical device; oftentimes it provide exactly the right camera angle from which to accentuate particularly vicious or vituperative hypocrisy.

The irony of Ted Haggard isn’t that he preached real, if non-physical, violence against gays and their spouses and children and ends up being a big ol’ dicksmoker himself. Nor that he preaches the sanctity of marriage can be achieved/maintained by the simple existence of a law: even thought there are currently laws in place which “protect” heterosexual marriage it doesn’t stop him from desecrating his own holy union by having sex with someone else. Nor do anti-drug laws stop him from spending hundreds of dollars in tithed money on crystal meth while most gay men would try to stop even him from going down the horrible path of crystal meth addiction.

The real irony, to me, is pulling a Clinton with “I didn’t inhale” tactics. He bought crystal multiple times and never used it? Paid an escort several times and got massages? Bullshit. Clinton smoked pot; Haggard smoked meth and dick.

And then Taggard lied about it, several times. Good lord.

But then there’s Rick Santorum, down by “thirteen points!” says Marie.

She asked me if I had plans tomorrow and I said, “just to vote”. She said, with glee, that she expected to be parked in front of the TV to watch Rick Santorum go down in flames. That’s not schadenfreude either; she knows to what extent that man has damaged people both generally and specifically. She knows what’s at stake for her gay son and for other people.

She knows that it’s comeuppance.

I don’t necessarily buy that, nor any of the arguments based on karma or cosmic retribution.

For me it’s much simpler, more concrete: rot at the core spreads outward. And when it starts to smell, there’s no hiding it and there’s no keeping people from distancing themselves from the putrescence.

Rick Santorum is not an honorable anything. He’s a scrote. He’s an opportunist interested only in protecting that which helps him disburse his vile phenotype as widely as possible.

I was going to say ¡adios! to him, but that means “go with god”. Rick is so far gone it’s more valid to say “go to god”. Go, Rick. He misses you. You’ve been too far away from him for too long.

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