Hope

I have news. Well, I have something I haven’t had in a while: hope.

I finally got my appointment with a pain specialist, who generously spent a solid 2.5 hours with me, explaining the different kinds of pain; the pain pathways; the classes of drugs (systemic and local) that operate on those pathways; the dynamics & equilibrium aspects of blood serotonin; and various pharmacokinetics and interactions of the meds that are typically used to treat pain.

He also did some mechanical tests (walking on toes, on heels, the “police test” walk) and some musculoskeletal observations.

Bottom line, I showed up to the appointment with the expectation of “more of the same”, because it’s all been the same, it seems, and a script for some sort of pain killer to provide palliative benefits, but nothing more.

What I left with was a lilt in my step and in my head, and the idea that I may be fixable and my pain and my neck problems may diminish enough for me to do the one thing I desperately want to do: be that brainy guy I used to be so I can get my ass back to the work I love.

There are no promises, nor decided-upon treatments just yet, but Hope is Magic, and that makes this feel like an emotional “old home week”.

True hope is swift, and flies with swallow’s wings;<br/> Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings.

William Shakespeare<br/> KING RICHARD III, Act 5, Scene 2

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