“That’s Not How Gay Works”

The first story after a two-week hiatus, of course, was about Larry Craig. It aired five hours ago and yet it’s not on YouTube yet. Bummer. Well, when it is, I’ll post it, but picture this…

The lights go down. Jon Stewart is front, camera left. Back behind him is a soul singer who’s embellishing/responding to the blurbs that Stewart gets out, which are actually just portions of audio from Larry Craig himself.

They get through the now-famous bits like “our feet touched” and “I tend to spread my legs when I drop my pants (and how do they get down, then?)”, then:

  • Jon Stewart: …pled guilty to the crime…
  • Singer: …technically a misdemeanor…
  • Jon Stewart: …he said he regretted the plea…
  • Singer: …he could have easily contested the charge of interference to privacy; it’s Law School 101…<br/>[…]<br/>
  • Jon Stewart: …anyway, he still says he’s not nor has he ever been gay!
  • Singer: That’s not how gay works.

Holy shit, that shit was funny. And blithely, cheerfully, simply true. Comedy really is a sublime form of communication, far surpassing spoken word and I might even say it surpasses music and lyrics as well.

Proof? How many times have I written about it? Enough. And how many tedious, homophobic bloviators—you know, like the misnamed barking moonbat and women who are reason enough to bring back quilting bees—are there out there repeating the same ill-formed, irrational abuses of logic and humanity? Far too many. So many in fact, that I’m thinking of starting a pool: when it finally becomes not-ok to treat homosexuals like a distant-second-class caste, what group will it be and when will that become prevalent enough to make the news? I feel bad for that next group, because, like all kinds of violent types, like standing armies without an external target, they’ll turn on their own with a bitterness even worse that what we are enduring because folks like those can’t be out-and-proud racists anymore.

All the liberal blogs and “liberal” media outlets out there tilting at big gay windmills (I know!) would have nothing gay (sorry, “homosexual”) to talk about if they finally just believed “that’s not how gay works”.

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