I went to see Hellboy 2 tonight with my friend Shiun. Yes, I saw it last week with Kurfty, post-incident, but it was fun enough that I wanted to see it again (after having done “homework†by watching the first Hellboy.
Just my bad luck that it was a Moviebears outing. Yes, there are variations (of a sort) on that tired theme.
Worse still, I was stuck sitting next to the guy who started hitting on Sam right in front of me a while back. And after I pointed out that I was Sam’s boyfriend? Yes, you guessed it: he kept right on hitting on Sam. Bear Typical. And they sure love their Typical this, that, the other thing.
In a sense, though, those Typicals came in handy, in a certain way: my friends are both Asian, so by the time I got into the theater, there were many bears in many seats, except all around my friends. Asians are anathema to the bears. It was kinda funny, actually: it’s like that little experiment you do with pepper on the surface of water on a plate? One drop of soap in the middle and all the pepper appears to scatter to the edges.
Speaking of soap, of course the “bear†sitting next to me (who during a trailer for a thriller movie yells “Scare bears!â€â€”yet another variation on the overall theme) might think less about the Bear Typical of “mansmells†when he’s out and about and might end up uncomfortably near a human being.
It’s like they said in Wargames: the only way to win is not to play. I don’t think it’s coincidence that my life hit a major accelerator in happiness and overall feeling better since I detached myself from groups of bears.