Example: Obscenity

A gay male student, age fifteen, was shot and killed by a fellow student, in all likelihood because he was gay. Or just different. Or both.

So what’s a mom and dad of a now-dead son have to say about it? They’re suing the school for allowing the boy (their son) dress in a “feminine” way (the boy also wore makeup to school).

Never mind that their own son is dead. Never mind that a fellow student pulled out a gun and shot their son dead. No, they’re pulling the equivalent of “dressed like that he was asking to be shot and killed.

And from that assumption, the parents are suing the high school for not enforcing a dress code.

You stupid fucks. I’ve never come closer to hating anyone than I am right now.

Eventually I’ll calm down and realize the parents are simply misplacing their extreme emotions and lashing out at everyone. I really hope I’m right, here.

It’s nothing short of piling tragedy upon tragedy when you realize that the justice system is taking better care of things than the boy’s parents: they’re going after the killer. Novel idea, I know.

I’m very sorry for the parents’ loss. I cannot even begin to empathize there, though if I had my own children—something that I’ve thought about my entire adult life—I suppose I could begin to.

Do the parents think that in death everyone becomes an ideal of their former selves and that they’re just helping to guarantee that happening by erasing the child’s aberrance? Are they that misguided about a child’s sexuality that they’re being politically correct about their priorities right now?

I suppose it’s a lack of empathy again, living here in my historical and emotional idyll, where upon coming out to my parents, they took their shock, their feeling of loss (they had expectations for me, as I did myself. In fact, I think the most difficult thing to cope with in admitting to yourself that you’re gay is having to discard most, if not all, you’re own expectations of how your life will proceed from a given present), their struggles with religious and societal inveighing against their own egos, and simply (but not easily) chose love over all that. Period.

In fact, if they’d never offered me promises and also demonstrated such, it would have taken me much much longer to own my sexuality and accept it as part of the gestalt of self.

Parents of that boy: your behavior is appalling. The implications present in that behavior are doing nothing but preserving the hateful mentality that people are less because their sexuality is non-hetero. You’re suggesting that your own son somehow deserved to die because he was different. You’re suing a school because they didn’t make him dress ‘normal’ instead of suing the school for refusing to protect their gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer students.

I hope you find an authentic means of unburdening yourself of grief instead of this nonsense. And I hope you find true peace and not just this illusion of it.