Oh My God, Becky!

EricMartsolf.png Eric Martsolf, who I had been lamenting since the death of the Passions soap on NBC is back!

Where? On Days Of Our Lives! My favoritest soap EVAR!

I had stopped watching it, but ohhhhhh, I think I’ll be tuning in again.

My folks watch it, and I’ve been watching it with them. I just found out today that Hunk McBigPecs is on DOOL just about 30 min ago.


Smells & Memory

As many of the folks who know me already know, I’m back in Pennsylvania visiting my family for Christmas and, for the first time perhaps since college I’m going to be here for New Years. And that’s a long time ago, chil’ren.

I’ve been dropping ad hoc photos of the current Winter Wonderland that is NE PA up onto FaceBook (the iPhone app for FaceBook is very nice, indeed. Well done, yous guys), so I might as well drop ‘em here, too:

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I usually show up here with my luggage packed at the last minute, but miraculously well-stocked with the things I need; usually that goes double when it comes to particulars like computer and iPod cables and medical stuff like, well, meds and over-the-counter stuff like blistex (hello, wintertime).

No miracles this year as far as that goes, though. I forgot a remote for my tv, which has no front panel controls. I forgot Blistex, too, but thankfully my mom had some Carmex.

I took it and applied it to my reddened, cracked lips and the smell hit me like a ton of bricks. I never liked Carmex, but Allen did. There were always pots of it all over the house. As yet another side effect of the fistfuls of meds he took, he was always using Carmex.

It was sudden and it was jarring, but it was also sweet and comforting. It was heady and disorienting, transporting even. Memories are only viewed as memories when you have a perspective: I am standing Here and I am standing Now and I know This and so these sensations are only from Then and aren’t real: therefore & ergo, Memories.

Only remember, I was jarred and transported.

And since I started taking topamax, I’ve been having dreams. Not dreams, Dreams.

They’re not upsetting and they’re not shroomy. Not psychedelic, but the color gamut is tilted towards the saturated end, kind of like an episode of “Pushing Daisies”. They involve people from my past and they’re all pastoral and bucolic, at least in feel if not in form.

People whom I loved or at least liked—have you ever noticed that Time has a way of not only tempering feelings but also antiquing them and instaling them into fundamental niches of emotion? For example, there were people in school that in those times if asked I would have said they were friends or that I liked them. Looking back through the haze, through the lacquered glass of history, the sepia varnish and umber wash fixative of years, I can say in that somatic way they were people I genuinely loved.

I loved my friends and I loved them because they hadn’t yet become their own destinies but I loved that I was there to see them trying and not trying, too busy becoming to be aiming consciously.

Earlier this afternoon I was talking to my mom about Obama’s choice of Rick Warren and I was telling her about Warren’s wife’s, Kay, who nearly two years ago to the day hauled out her prodigious pomposity and her willful and blatant ignorance of the past to talk about fighting the AIDS empidemic. She and their Saddleback congregation were about to embark on taking on the fight in stopping AIDS. In part, what Kay Warren said was: If we don’t do something, who will? If we don’t show God’s love, who will? If we don’t show up, who will?.

I got upset just repeating it to my mom, but I covered it with a cough and I just sounded stuffed up.

Can you imagine the gall? I said. Wasn’t I there for Allen? Wasn’t Dianne Feinstein there in San Francisco in the early 80s when even Ronald Reagan and the Feds weren’t? All those gay men who died? All those other gay men and all those Lesbians who did all they could? All of those people? And this Kay Warren just swans in—

I stopped.

Anyway, Then started back: I just burst into tears when I read that she said that.

Ohh, Jeffy. You miss him him a lot, don’t you, my mom asked me.

I didn’t answer. She wasn’t really asking a question anyway.

I left the room. I couldn’t be around anyone, even though I didn’t want to be alone, like, at all.

[UPDATE] Obama’s Foolish Consistency

There’s something insidious about hate language that most people never note: it has no response other than in-kind hate language and that’s usually be people by whom for whom it’s also hated language.

You may argue this, but I would argue you’re wrong. Hate speech is an in the moment thing and in the moment things demand in the moment responses or they win.

And you may return with “well, they only win in the short term”. Well, yes, but they keep winning thoe short term wins and there are witnesses to short term win after short term win and look at the world. Do you think that quashing racism and sexism and homophobia is an uphill battle or a breezy walk in the park? Answer that and you’ll have the answer to which wins.

And now there’s Rick Warren giving a Jesus Loves You Unless You’re a Homosexual (or Pedophile Or Incestor, same diff) Invocation at the Home of the Nation at the Biggest Event This Country Can Muster.

Why? Because Obama thinks that a proper President must abide “differences of opinion”.

Differences of Opinion? Excuse me?

Look at what happened when there was a “difference of opinion” when white men figured that black men weren’t really human beings like they were. Then of course the logical conclusion from that was that they were would suffice quite handily as pack mules and cheap labor instead: throw cheap complex carbs and minimal protein at ‘em and you could harvest vast amounts of tobacco and cotton!

Opinions are funny.

Let’s take off our shoes, shall we? And throw them—onto the opposite feet, of course.

And say there’d just been a YouTube video that’s been widely seen and is wildly popular from Prick Warren, a white-supremacist pastor and best-selling author from the Bareback Church of Palm Springs.

He’s the voice of the Right Wing and Obama has promised to bring everyone together, from both sides of the aisle to help make America unified.

Part of the copy of this video is about interracial marriage, an appeal aimed at a burgeoning effort to repeal the striking of all the anti-miscegenation laws that used to be in place, reads:

…The idea of a white man or woman marrying a N*gger isn’t natural! It’s the same as a grown man marrying a little girl….Should a woman marry her brother? Should a man be permitted to legally marry his horse? No! So No! No white person should be permitted to marry a N*gger!

Do you think Obama would still abide a “difference of opinion” and invite such a man to perform the invocation to kick off his own inauguration?

No, Mr. President-Elect, not everything can be cast as an abstract, ideological phantasmagoria. Not when people’s lives and livelihoods and happiness and equality hang in the balance.

I thought you were different. I thought you knew the difference.

You don’t.

Not all consistencies are foolish. Yours is.

I’m sad.

You’re sadder, methinks.

[UPDATE: Rick Warren’s side of the Prop 8 mess is now trying to nullify the marriages of 18,000 same-sex couples performed between the CA Supreme Court ruling and the passage of Proposition 8.]

LOGO’s ClickList


Matt Alber’s song/video, “End of the World”, from his new album, Hide Nothing, is currently on the LOGO channel’s ClickList.

You should go VOTE FOR IT. Like, now. Please.

And while you’re at it, there’s a single on iTunes, “Star of Wonder” for which Matt is donating all proceeds to the Los Angeles Youth Network. Here’s what Matt says about it:


Hey, I just wanted everyone to know that 100% of the proceeds from the sale of “Star of Wonder” benefit the Los Angeles Youth Network (layn.org). They are an incredible organization who provide group homes and emergency shelters to some of L.A.’s 10,000 homeless teens. I chose to cover The Roche’s song because it speaks of following a strange light in the sky and wondering if those you leave behind will understand.

Please spread the word and enjoy the song!

Click here to buy “Star of Wonder”.

Gays Fingering Gays


Protests everywhere because Prop 8—or, as the clever teh-gayz put it, Prop H8—passed.

Still protests, after all these weeks.

Join The Impact organized protests nationally to happen on November 15, just Seven! Short! Days! after the election. Huge Sucess!

In that amount of time they even manage to get out a quite clever (these gays, I tell ya) poster:


Though you can tell it was a rush job—or at least I hope it was a rush job (“Philidelphia”?). Still, look at the industry in all that.

One week and a gazillion people across the country get their protest on.

And in the post-mortem, ironically they keep reanimating the dead.

Which “dead”? HRC and EQCA. They keep going after them and bitching about what they did wrong.

It’s their fault, 100% that Prop 8 passed. Their fault and not religious bigotry’s fault. Not voter’s faults. Not the Roman Church’s fault. Sorry, I just don’t buy it. I don’t think HRC and EQCA can go up against the Catholics. No political ad is as powerful as the Pope.

But hey, the self same people who managed to bring “Philidelphia” and so many other American cities into line and out there protesting within days of the election still sit around with their thumbs up their asses and bitch about how they were “shut out” of participating in HRC’s and EQCA’s “No on 8” efforts.

What a cop out.

Seriously, Amy Balliett, shut the fuck up and stop whining. And Rolling Stone? Where have YOU been in all this? Are you begging on off some kind of journalistic “we only report the news” bullshit? You’re involved right now. You’re stepping in and pointing fingers yourself. And your source? This “unnamed Democratic consultant who operates at the highest level of California politics?” He or she is obviously a slimeball. Someone didn’t pay him or her and obviously that person doesn’t take a dump on behalf of anyone else without getting paid for it.

Where were all these so called great grass roots organizers during the campaign season? Why did they just sit back and do nothing? And why are they so busy now organizing impotent protests and expending so much energy blaming the failings of those who did do something (however bad)?

And this one from the Advocate…this is my favorite:

Both poles of the gay rights movement, from grassroots activists to polished politicos, complain that they were shut out of No on 8’s decision-making process from the start.

Let me remind you of the very definition of “grass roots”:

A grassroots movement (often referenced in the context of a political movement) is one driven by the constituents of a community. The term implies that the creation of the movement and the group supporting it is natural and spontaneous, highlighting the differences between this and a movement that is orchestrated by traditional power structures.

So why didn’t all these “grass roots” groups go out and be grass roots organizations?

Did HRC and EQCA spend their limited (because there was an organized effort to STARVE HRC of funding early in the campaign season for their decision to support federal legislation which had removed transgendered persons from its language) funds on actively thwarting external efforts to stop Prop 8?

Amy Balliett? Did they?

She was quoted after the election as saying “We need to mobilize now!”

No, Amy, we needed to mobilize in June.

Same Old Republicans

Millions of blue collar jobs and the entire future of making things and building things in America, and right after the Republicans—starting with the President of the United States, the Lamest of the Lame Ducks—and the Republicans would like to take this opportunity to play yet another game of brinkmanship by trying to kill the unions.

Yes, it’s the unions’ fault that the auto makers are on the verge of going away for ever.

Yes, that was sarcasm.

“Oh, but they’re getting $70+ dollars an hour in wages and benefits!”

Yeah, and there’s clean coal technology.


Oh, but Toyota and the foreign automakers are making money!

No, they’re not.

Oh, but American car makers aren’t making the kinds of cars that people want!

Yes, they are. Look around, people. There are SUVs everywhere. That’s what Americans have wanted. Until suddenly they didn’t. They believed that gas was plentiful and cheap. Until it wasn’t. Republicans were out there scaring people—especially older, whiter, richer people with spectres of Smartcars and VW Golfs and yes, Corollas, for years. The threats? That if “environmentalists got their way…”

Well, look at the world now. It’s all real. Like the rest of us knew it was. Cheaper cars are winning.

The Republicans who are leading the charge to gut the autoworkers unions? Southern-state Senators who have foreign-owned car makers’ manufacturing in their home states. Conflict of interest? Well, you decide. How many degrees of separation from Blago-world? You decide.

These Republican senators are ideologues. They hate unions and always have. But step back a bit and look at what’s actually going on: US government officials—conservative ones—are stepping in on behalf of giant companies to attempt to reduce the wages of American workers.

Where were these guys when the $750B—not in loans, but in bailouts—were handed out to banks? They freely handed it over with very little oversight. This is $14B. And in loans. That’s less than 2% of what they just handed over. Less than 2%. To be paid back.

American autoworkers are paid $28/hour. Toyota plant workers are paid $25/hour.

People aren’t buying cars because there’s no credit available. But there’s supposed to be. That’s what the $750B was for, in large part. The US government is giving out hundreds of billions of dollars with very little restriction, largely so that credit can flow again, largely so that people can buy things like cars. Cars. So that car companies can sell cars again. So that car companies can survive.

But the banks aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do with the government handout, so the car companies aren’t surviving, so the car companies are begging for loans. And the Republicans won’t give it to them because they’re in the pockets of foreign car companies.

But you might ask, aren’t there American jobs there in foreign car manufactories?

Well, yes, but the profits go overseas.

American companies would build the parts that go into the American cars, and the profits at each step of the way go into American pockets, where, say (this is an example), Honda would use Japanese steel and Japanese companies to manufacture that fuel pump and all that money stays out of America. Then Honda Japan sells that pump to Honda America for a huge amount of money, again banking the profit. Honda America only assembles the car and then sells it, making very little of the overall profit to be had on that end product.

The Republicans know that, but then Honda, Toyota, Nissan are their constituents, and unlike Obama, who got almost all of his campaign contributions from a bazillion individual small contributors instead of relatively few large corporate contributors, he’s not beholden to any oligarchs.

Not like those Republican senators who are willing to risk those millions of blue collar jobs and the very future of American manufacturing.

Imagine: after all those Republicans have lost, they stand there in full view of the world arguing that American workers are making too much money.

Shameless. And soon gone.