The Whittington Corollaries

1. In San Francisco, when one man takes another man into the woods and shoots all over the other's face, we call that a Trick.
   
   
2. Saying “Dr. Pepper” when you really had beer is like going into a gay bar wearing a t-shirt that says, “I'm only here doing research.” I'm sure that for him, being drunk is “just a phase”.
   
   
3. How much do you wanna bet that Dick Cheney was sure to burn the dress that had the beer stains on it? (I'd go for more, but I don't want to even think about what passes for a Texan Bohemian Grove.)

Cheney was quoted as saying, “You can't blame anybody else” about the shooting. But who's really blaming anyone but you, Dick? Eighteen hours happens to be quite long enough for anyone to piss out whatever alcohol they were drinking. But you know, if that's your story, just be make sure no one finds a way to do an end-run around your story, have your friends tell the press that you did have “one cocktail” (which is up from “no cocktails” in the original story) after they took you friend to the hospital.

But then again, what kind of message does that send to [cue crying violins] the chilllllldren! when you take a drink to calm your nerves? That drugs really are ok to use as a coping mechanism?

Funny thing, when you've created such a privilege for yourself that you can be the head of the US Government (let's not kid ourselves) and still expect people to “do as I say not as I do”. On second thought, there's really nothing at all funny about it.

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