Pat's Milkshake is Better Than Yours

Pat Robertson has a Jesus- age defying shake available here. It's just too fucking weird.

Did you know that if you replace “milkshake” with “Jesus”, you mostly end up with a song about Pat Robertson and his Church Empire 700 Club? No, it's true! Here:

[Repeat x2]
My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

I know you want it,
The thing that makes me,
What the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
The way I wind,
I think it's time

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting

My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

I can see you're on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that freaks these boys,
It can't be bought,
Just know, thieves get caught,
Watch if your smart,

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Warm it up,
La la-la la la,
The boys are waiting,

My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Oh, once you get involved,
Everyone will look this way-so,
You must maintain your charm,
Same time maintain your halo,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next his eyes are squint,
Then he's picked up your scent,

[Chorus x2]
Lala-lalala,
Warm it up,
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting,

My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Isn't that utterly, utterly creepy? However, it does explain a LOT.

Nod to skittles for the original link.

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