Much Ado About Somethings

Silence is the Perfectest herald of Joy. But I'm not perfect.

Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of
your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides
and happiness takes his leave.

Today I celebrated my first week back to work! And I'm here to tell you, that certainly makes a change, and for the better. Though there was considerably more pain because of being more active (and less, to a certain extent) and being “on” all day long, the attendant happiness of being back among the mates on my team and simply being back at the Mothership/Neverland (but without the plastic surgery and pedophilia, as a Hero of mine said)/the Center of the  Universe wins out easily.

It's been a tiring week, though.

And in a different way, tomorrow will be tiring as well: Soonae and Jong leave for Korea in the morning. Though I will have my solitude back, I will be in solitude. Though I will have a door to lock behind me, I may end up locked behind it. Though I will be alone, I will be lonely.

O, my lord,
When [we] went onward on this ended action,
I look'd upon him with a soldier's eye,
That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive liking to the name of love:
But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts
Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
Come thronging soft and delicate desires...

The cat is called Walter. He is stuffed with more personality than any three other cats. Understand, I am a dog person: I am not a cat person unless there is a cat about. Walter has taken to both Soonae and Jong, abandoning me in the process. I digress.

If I pick up Walter and place him down near a toy of his, he is disoriented, but that is transient and he may discover the toy, forgetting whatever cat-thoughts had priorly caused both of his neurons to vibrate. Would that we all could abide changes so easily!

But I try and try not.

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny.

In all of this it has been the heart I have found companionable and not the head. But now that the head situates itself in the world and occupies itself with work and fun (often the same thing), what's left to be impatient about? Why, everything else, of course! I am not neurotic—that is to say, greedy for the next tragic drama—but rather, I believe that grace requires grist: the only beneficent consequence of change is transformation.

...Graces will appear, and there's an end.

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