november 2006 Archives

This YouTube clip, via Brian, made me laugh so hard I was crying. Camp Value rules!

Technorati Tags: godofbiscuits, youtube, joan crawford vs. Abba

Reuters runs this ad on cnet's news.com.com:

And if you follow the ad's link, you get another story about the Pope bitching and whining about the “folly” of gay marriage as he belittles the “freedom of choice”.

Wasn't Free Will a Gift of the Creator? Call it a cassock & surplice, or call it a robe, but it's still a dress he's bedecked in, and so I can call it crossdressing. Isn't it fun to fuck with word-meanings?

All these “signs” of Western “decay” point to “an eclipse of God” in the West.

So while we're telling Reuters and the Pope to fuck the fuck off, let's include Catholic butt-boy Aquinas in it, too: who the fuck cares about your theories of god playing unstoppable badminton with an immovable shuttlecock? God isn't playing physics, y'all, he's too busy sunning himself under a sun that he can lose access to.

Oh, and Reuters? O Bastion of “Liberal Media”? You're missing a third checkbox: Equality.

Technorati Tags: aquinas, pope panzer, reuters, same-sex marriage

Nod to Joe:

Technorati Tags: bush screws america video, god of biscuits, joe my god, youtube, republicans

Tonight, I will be accompanied by him to see the inimitable Cherry Jones in this:

How cool is that?

Technorati Tags: cherry jones, dogpoet, doubt, god of biscuits

I'm sitting in the back seat of a Chevy, tooling down I-280 towards work. It's a makeshift carpool, and a temporary one. Soon I'll be back to being green and taking CalTrain.

Regardless, here I am. It's very foggy down here at the intersection of Route 92 and I-280. Crystal Springs Lake, a reservoir, is off to the right. The mountain range behind it is confluent with trees so large that it tricks the eye into thinking that the mountains are either smaller than they are, or closer than they are. It's a strange effect.

The speed of the internet connection varies wildly while driving–especially up and down 280. Even though it basically rides mountaintops from San Francisco to the South Bay, the occasional valleys cause issues, as does the weird tower-switching thrash at a couple of points along the way.

Here's what I got at a given moment near the Redwood City/Atherton exit:

There's nowhere in my life I can't have internet access if I want or need it. That's more of a bad thing than a good thing, but I'm a nerd at heart—well, among other things—and I do it because I can. Maybe that just makes me intellectually hedonistic: gotta feed your head, man.

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, I-280, mobile blogging, republicans, verizon wireless

There are some things that you just have to say outloud. And often. Say it with me: “Speaker Pelosi!”

Ahhhhh. There. That's better.

They should sell a contraption to help all the rabid righties out there untwist their knickers, cuz there's a lot of that going around, I tell you.

All afraid of something they aptly call “San Francisco Values”.

Tell you what: this country could use more than a little dose of San Francisco Values.

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, speaker pelosi

It seems the whole political system has done a flip flop. For so long, it seemed that the Democrats misplaced one foot in front of another, where even to stumble would be an improvement.

Now Nancy Pelosi has hit the ground running and making quite an impression already.

The Republicans, on the other hand...well, just two words: Trent Lott.

Helmet-hair is baaaa-aaaaack!

Technorati Tags: 2006 election, god of biscuits, trent lott, republicans

What costs 1.2531646¢ each and ends up being trapped inside a black, white or baby-shit green-brown prison?

Why, a Zune point, of course!

In a marketing move that borrows heavily from Barumian tactics, the Zune player debuted today along with the Zune music store. In the Zune store, you must first buy Zune points, in blocks of $5 at a time.

Then, you browse the Zune store to discover that songs are only 79 points!!!

Wow...they're totally spanking Apple now! First a brown-noise-player that's bigger and bulkier and browner than an iPod, and then songs undercutting iTunes by twenty cents....errrrrr....points....Points. Make sense?

Here's the kicker. 79 Zune points costs you 99¢.

Did they really think people would fall for that?

On the iTunes store, I can click a 99¢ song and it downloads, and the charge is added to my Visa card. Done.

On Zune, I must buy $5.00-worth of points...about 400 points. Then I can go buy about 5 songs. At 79 points per song. Total point cost: 395 points. Leaving me about 4 or 5 points remaining.

Seriously, do you think we're dumb as brown-green Zune shit?

But hey, at least I can wirelessly share a song from an obscure CD that I ripped myself, and you can listen to it on YOUR zune for 3 plays (even 1 second's worth of play counts as a full play) or 3 days, whichever comes first. At which point, since it's probably not on Zune's store, you won't be able to buy it, but it will still just sit there on your Zune, unplayable and taking up space.

At least the Zune's bigger-but-not-higher-rez screen will let you play those Zune movies you bought on—oh wait. No movies.

One upside: take your Zune to Quebec and let them giggle at you calling it your own personal pee-pee/tinkle/hoo-hoo/kitty.

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, iPod, zune

So this Saturday is the November installment of a dance club/event called “Bearracuda”. It's a themed event, geared towards to jovial boys with sometimes jovian bodies, and with lots of follicular, furry, fleecy, fuzzy funness. “And their admirers.”

A couple of months ago I was approached by the producer of the event (a tall, handsome, can't-say-no-to kind of guy) to be a “model” for their events. I had been to one of these events before, and it was a whole mess of fun, aaaaand, having never done anything like this before, I said, “Sure, why not!”

And so I did.

For the last few weeks, posters featuring me and a guy called David with our shirts off made their appearance on the web and, more germanely, in the Castro. As Paula-Bone and I were walking down the street last week, I came face to face with....ME! There was my visage, in all its circular glory, hanging on the door of an softcore porn erotica store.

Click on the pic and take a look, IF YOU DARE!!!

But by all means, don't let the bearity of the event, or more likely, my face gracing the poster, stop you from attending the event this Saturday, November 18. The Deco Lounge is a fun place, and everyone's friendly and there's zero attitude. It's classic Bear, without the typical bitchiness from the lookists.

All that said, my favorite feedback so far for the poster comes from my friend Derek: “That poor cub, with the PleasurePiggy stuck to his back!”

I love my friends, I love my friends, I love my friends...

Technorati Tags: deco lounge, bearracuda, god of biscuits, gay

Same-sex Marriage is not gay marriage. It's marriage. You don't have to be gay to avail yourself of a same-sex marriage. Just like I can avail myself of the institution of marriage right now, so long as the one I'm marrying has an inny to my out-y.

Pro-Life is not Pro Life: it's Pro-pagation of the Faith. I should know, I remember the agency's relationship the Diocese of Scranton. Every Diocese makes obeisance to the Society for the Propagation of the Faith. After all, it's the sales & marketing arm of the Catholic Church and no amount of truth (or “Truth”) is enough to keep membership up. It's like KQED and Public Television: it's free and it's awesome, but you still have to have membership drives—and some of the funds raised by the membership drive go to fund the next membership drive, etc., etc.

On the other hand, I never thought the word “gay” would be said so frequently and so relatively blithely by everyone. Still, it's a demonizing word when used to build the phrase “gay marriage”. It's ironic, too, because as the Rightwingers attempt to separate marriage from gay marriage, their real argument is that people will confuse them as the same thing and therefore the notion of marriage will mean nothing.

You know, it'd be like Baptists saying that Catholics aren't Christians because if you let the Catholics call themselves Christian then Christianity will be diluted by welcoming everyone to Jesus.

And look! A timely timing for me. Today the Catholics issued a set of guidelines on how to handle the homos. They're (we're) supposed to be welcomed, but we're not to have sex or, god forbid, fall in love. We're only supposed to 'come out' to a 'small group of people'—I have a feeling that they didn't explicitly set a number on what constitutes 'small group'. And if we 'openly embrace' the 'homosexual lifestyle' (what is this, the 1970s?), then we are not permitted to hold 'leadership positions' in the Church. Does that mean that only bottoms of the non-pushy variety are allowed to be as out and proud and stylishly-lived as they wish and still be held close to Jesus' muscular bosom?

So get it right, folks. It's same-sex marriage. If you're straight, you can have one. The gays aren't interested in abridging straight's rights. You'd be able to marry within or without your own gender, just like everyone else. As an added bonus, your race will be rendered equally moot with respect to your choices!

Technorati Tags: gay, gay marriage, god of biscuits, homosexual catholic, roman catholic church, same-sex marriage

More Jesus.

In dental records:

In spilled hot chocolate:

In a shrimp (yes, a shrimp!):

Technorati Tags: jesus, shrimp, spilled cocoa, god of biscuits, dental records

This one comes to us via Joe Oxford.

Since back in the day, Jesus supposedly appeared to the meanest of us, the poor and the needy, the ones that everyone else disregarded—including the filthy, unfaithful Samaritans!—I should be so presumptuous as to regard any appearance of Jesus or BVM or Mother Theresa on a building or overpass or potato chip; a tomato slice, a pita or a copper awning to be something Divine.

Wouldn't you?

I'd say this picture of the Resurrected Christ to be the dog's bollocks, but this one is a bitch. I stand corrected: it's a boy dog! Get Behind Jesus!

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, jesus on dog's anus

Tonight, Bill Maher is set to out any number of gay Republicans who a) are out, socially in DC, and b) have supported anti-gay measures or anti-gay bosses.

Outing is one of those things that's greatly divisive to the gay community. But I have found that those who oppose any kind of outing tend to fall into two groups:

1. Those who don't understand there's a difference between personal outing and journalistic outing
2. Those who understand, but fail to understand the difference between privacy and secrecy.

I'm continually surprised at the gay men I know and know of, who are against any kind of outing. But see, I've already lost any argument I would make along these lines: By continuing to use the term 'outing' in the journalistic sense, I'm already admitting there's a tacit shame to being gay.

Instead, journalistic outing is merely investigative journalism, resulting in context-relevant reporting. That's it. And that's all that Michael Signorile ever did, and it's all that Bill Maher is doing—or rather will be doing tonight on his show.

When people outed Andrew Sullivan as a BDSM barebacking queen who cruises internet hookup sites in search of anonymous encounters yet publically labels those who do the same as self-loathing and who make us all look bad, well, in my opinion, the real news story is his hypocrisy, not the fact of his behavior. He crawled on the backs of those who were not ashamed of themselves in order to feel better about himself.

Same with Mehlman. Same with Dan Gurley, another 'barebacker' who helped push abstinence-only sex-education. Same with Ted “Tina” Haggard (“Feeling Haggard? Smoke Crystal Meth!” —props to Skittles).

And these are also the criteria Maher says he'll be using tonight on his show.

I hope the liberals and progressives who are against investigative, objective journalism can just keep their mouths shut and let the right imply cohesiveness from it, because I honestly don't remember any libs getting bent out of shape when Strom Thurmond was exposed as having an affair (and child!) with a black servant.

The GGG (Gay Gordon Gekko's) over at GayPatriot care more about their wallets than about their rights, so they must be foaming at the mouth over this one.

We'll see how it plays out. The Repubs in power(ish!) have too much going on to really make it a huge issue, so it'll be interesting to see if there's actually a fair debate on it rather than the typical Rapid Rabid Response.

Technorati Tags: bill maher, larry king, ted haggard, god of biscuits, dan gurley, gay, outing, andrew sullivan, ken mehlman, 2006 democratic victory

I have a totally useless talent: recognizing certain words or names as being more versatile (giggle) for anagrams than others. Sometimes this also means I can fashion good anagrams out of them, but I often just don't try.

But here we have the ballad of three big losers: Santorum, Allen and Rumsfeld.

Take those three names and what do you get?

LOST MADMEN SNARL, RUEFUL

Technorati Tags: george allen, god of biscuits, rick santorum, rumsfeld, senate

Bush lied yesterday during his news conference. He went off-script for a moment and admitted that he told an untruth to reporters in the Oval Office.

Granted, it's not a blowjob, but there should be some kind of punishment, shouldn't there?

Technorati Tags: george bush, god of biscuits, bush lied, rumsfeld, rumsfeld resigns

1. Mac OS X
2. The Absence of Donald Rumsfeld.

Put them together and what do you get? An elegant way to express an exquisite truth!

Nod to Daring Fireball, who gives nods to the original boingboing entry.

Technorati Tags: 2006 democratic victory, 2006 election, god of biscuits, mac os x, rumsfeld, rumsfeld resigns

The support scaffolding is folding: CNN reports that Rummy is stepping down.

Update: Dobson Quits Haggard Counseling Team, citing “lack of time”. What? Is he too busy spending time with Jones now that he's got some openings in his schedule?

Update [2006-11-08:10.54] South Dakota voters killed the state abortion ban!

[Faux] Update [2006-11-08:13.26] Marilyn Musgrave switches to panties WITH crotches in them, offering, “they hurt less when they get all twisted up.”

Update [2006-11-08:17.40] Karl Rove's “the math”

Technorati Tags: 2006 democratic victory, 2006 election, god of biscuits, rumsfeld

Now gloat before gloat you gloat start gloat thinking gloat that gloat I'm gloat going gloat to gloat cut gloat into gloat the gloat Republicans gloat right gloat away gloat, let gloat me gloat for gloat now gloat point gloat out gloat that gloat these gloat were gloat CNN.Com's gloat Top gloat Stories:

Yes, folks...Democrats taking the House, Dems picking up Senate seats (3 down, 3 to go!), Dems regaining a big pile of governorships, the ballot and divisive social issues...and Britney Spears divorcing.

That trailer park in Alabama: “Ah hate gays! Jesus saves! Axis of Evil! Oooh! Britney dumps K-Fed!”

Technorati Tags: democratic victory, britney divorced, god of biscuits, 2006 democratic victory

Get out and vote, biotches. We not only need to win this election, we need to win it by enough that even with Republican trickery and fraud we still come out on top.

Remember anti-gay Haggard getting his meth-fueled rocks off while trying to rob you of your liberties. Remember Cheney's idea of giving someone a facial. Remember how afraid the Republicans have tried to make you: good leaders lead...great leaders make leaders out of their people, and it's time for at least a good leader.

Remember all the human deaths at our hands in Iraq. Remember the President going to the Hill to plead his case in favor of torture. Remember that the gas prices are low because of the impending election, not because the Republicans are doing a good job keeping the oil companies—hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..sorry, I couldn't finish that with a serious face—keeping the oil companies in their place.

Remember that if oil is an addiction for us, then Bush and Cheney were two of the biggest dope-pushers out there and kept us addicted so they could line their own pockets.

Remember. And get them the fuck out of there.

Technorati Tags: 2006 election, george bush, god of biscuits, Religion, ted haggard

you shatter me
your grip on me
a hold on me
so dull it kills
you stifle me
infectious sense
of hopelessness and
prayers for rain
i suffocate
i breathe in dirt
and nowhere shines
but desolate
and drab the hours all spent
on killing time again
all waiting for
the rain

you fracture me
your hands on me
a touch so plain
so stale it kills
you strangle me
entangle me
in hopelessness and
prayers for rain
i deteriorate
i live in dirt
and nowhere glows
but drearily and tired
the hours all spent
on killing time again
all waiting for
the rain

Here's hoping the government gets that long-overdue ecclesiectomy!

Technorati Tags: 2006 election, god of biscuits, Prayers for Rain

That's R-I-C-K-S-A-N-T-O-R-U-M, anagramized.

Or exposed. Exposed for what he really is. Whatever.

With apologies to the interruption I'm creating in easier-thinking of the right-wing whack-jobs “out” there, I am most certainly not a student of schadenfreude. I don't enjoy the misfortune of others; however, I don't have to make the effort to help certain people avoid bad things happening to them.

Sometimes irony is more than just a useful rhetorical device; oftentimes it provide exactly the right camera angle from which to accentuate particularly vicious or vituperative hypocrisy.

The irony of Ted Haggard isn't that he preached real, if non-physical, violence against gays and their spouses and children and ends up being a big ol' dicksmoker himself. Nor that he preaches the sanctity of marriage can be achieved/maintained by the simple existence of a law: even thought there are currently laws in place which “protect” heterosexual marriage it doesn't stop him from desecrating his own holy union by having sex with someone else. Nor do anti-drug laws stop him from spending hundreds of dollars in tithed money on crystal meth while most gay men would try to stop even him from going down the horrible path of crystal meth addiction.

The real irony, to me, is pulling a Clinton with “I didn't inhale” tactics. He bought crystal multiple times and never used it? Paid an escort several times and got massages? Bullshit. Clinton smoked pot; Haggard smoked meth and dick.

And then Taggard lied about it, several times. Good lord.

But then there's Rick Santorum, down by “thirteen points!” says Marie.

She asked me if I had plans tomorrow and I said, “just to vote”. She said, with glee, that she expected to be parked in front of the TV to watch Rick Santorum go down in flames. That's not schadenfreude either; she knows to what extent that man has damaged people both generally and specifically. She knows what's at stake for her gay son and for other people.

She knows that it's comeuppance.

I don't necessarily buy that, nor any of the arguments based on karma or cosmic retribution.

For me it's much simpler, more concrete: rot at the core spreads outward. And when it starts to smell, there's no hiding it and there's no keeping people from distancing themselves from the putrescence.

Rick Santorum is not an honorable anything. He's a scrote. He's an opportunist interested only in protecting that which helps him disburse his vile phenotype as widely as possible.

I was going to say ¡adios! to him, but that means “go with god”. Rick is so far gone it's more valid to say “go to god”. Go, Rick. He misses you. You've been too far away from him for too long.

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, i, rank scrotum, rick santorum, ted haggard

Technorati Tags: god of biscuits, iChat

Again, from Salon.com:

George W. Bush, Wednesday, Oct. 25, 2006: “We have made a conscious effort not to be a body-count team.”

George W. Bush, Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2006: “There's no question that October was a tough month. We lost 103 soldiers ... Our troops and Iraqi troops killed or captured over 1,500 people during this period of time.”

Wow...what a difference a single week makes.

The interesting thing here, is that the Republicans had to fundamentally distort the facts to say that Kerry was a flipflopper. These are two direct quotes, a week apart. Spin that, right-wing freaks.

Technorati Tags: george bush, god of biscuits