iPhone

• an iPod
• an internet communicator
• technically, a Mac!
• not a tablet computer by any other name
• a brand new something
• something that finally makes me happy to be a cingular customer
• misunderstood by status-quo-er's
• underestimated by provider-focused doofuses like Bill & Bill
• a device whose negative hype apes the original iPod's
• something I must have. omg omg omg omg

Ok, it's a phone, too. GoB knows how much restructuring Cingular had to do behind the scenes to allow the phone to send email and talk at the same time, to permit random-access voicemail and whatever else lurks beneath the sweet, sweet bonnet of this baby.

Funny thing is, it won't replace any of the iPods I use, but I may listen to music more often. It will replace the totally crap phone I had to spend $300 on because stupid-ass Cingular doesn't actually offer any cheapo phones without a contract and I'm not eligible for “an upgrade” until April 2007. Oh wait, June 2007 is after April 2007! Yeaaah, I totally lucked out on the timing of this thing.

It won't replace any Mac I own, either, because it's not intended to.

So it's a great iPod but it's an additional iPod. It's a great OS X machine, but it's an additional one. Wow. You think Apple might make some money with this thing? I know it will be making a lot from me.

I will also chuckle mightily when Bill Ray goes “duh” and Bill Gates gets a chin gets real—seriously, how can you claim that companies who provide both the hardware and the software are at a “huge disadvantage” when you've just come out with a hardware/software solution? Just because you got Zuned up the butt by your own foray into hardware/software products doesn't mean everyone else will.

Check out Stephen Colbert. He's awesome:

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