Your Arm’s Too Short To Box With Grrrr
In one of my rare, blatantly-contrairian actions, I committed what most Bears would call a “hate crime” and most Bears will cringe next time they see me.
The sanctum sanctorum of the Bear Community is facial hair. Yes, seriously. Facial Hair.
I don't recall how long it's been since I shaved my face completely, really I don't. The only time I can actually place in time was back in 1996 or so, when on complete whim—just as today—I dug the razor into the bearded area and dispatched with it without a second thought. I know that time was 1996-ish because it served as an inspiration for a character in the novel that I wrote, A Strong Sense of Place.
I know I'd done it at least once or twice between then and now, but I never did understand the big deal. This must be the equivalent of a woman going for a short haircut, or—gasp!—bangs and feeling traumatized by the whole thing.
No trauma here, but there is a small delight in making a change and a small boost in having committed the murder of a beard.
I do remember that whenever I'd shaved it off last time, the outsized men had an outsized reaction. Well, a couple of reactions anyway:
- they failed to recognize me for a few heartbeats, and when they did, there were involuntary cringes on their faces, sort of like when Gwyneth Paltrow showed up at the Oscars wearing that hideous dress that made her look like she was perpetually hunched forward and also made her breasts look like they just joined AARP
- I got smiled at and cruised by men (and boys) who previously paid no attention to me
I swear to GoB that these things happened.
You'd think I drowned a kitten just to watch it die.
Come to think of it, that may have been the first time I started to realize how dead-serious the Bears take their body hair.
O, the Gore!
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But are you brave enough to remove the rest? The chest? The shoulders?
You're cute without the facial hair.
Brave enough? yes.
Industrious enough? No way.
Lotta work. LOTTA work. ;)
You look so cute!
You look very handsome. And no need to remove the body hair, it is hot just the way it is.
Congrats on the big shave. I'm SO chicken to shave mine. I did it once, by accident, and I felt naked. Couldn't wait for it to grow back. ENJOY! Looks cute!
Um, you look a little like John McCain. Are you defecting to the Republican Party now? :)
R.I.P. Beard... Still handsome either way!
Well, you look younger, but I *am* concerned about your breasts' membership in AARP. Don't tell me they've joined. GoB, no!
Joshums, you were *so* much nicer when you were half an ocean away. ;)
Ohmigosh, you are so fucking cute! Those dimples make my heart beat faster. XO
Grrrr! Hair or no hair, you're still my papi! Arf!
Yes, GoB, well some things *are* better at a distance.
Hey...at least you have the option.
I'm gonna have to wait for my next life to even be able to consider the facial hair option. Whenever I choose *not* to shave the loved one goes around saying "raggy relp me" for days. URGGGHHH!
OMIGOD, you look so cute!!!
OMG it's Charlie Brown! :) You know I love you with or without.
(From a confessional about biphobia.)
The degree to which "oppressed" is an appropriate word to apply to the bear community is debatable, but inasmuch as a lot of guys come to it after long histories of feeling rejected by mainstream (queer or straight) standards of beauty, I think it's got the same roots, and this is a fair explanation of why some guys will cringe or look suspiciously at you for going clean-shaven.
(Others will merely be disappointed because you changed the flavor of their eye-candy, and they like cherry a lot better than licorice.)
I'm always going to play the generalist before the “expert”—when I can ehlp it.
So given that, there's also a historical angle (in addition to psychological) on just about anything. The Bears are no exception.
The Bear Community's identity did not emerge from anything: it was simply contrarian. In their case it was a simply a matter of rejecting the ”Castro Clone” look of the 1970's.
It is said that former slaves make the worst masters, because the only pattern all of the minority members know is oppresssion from a majority group.
The Castro Clones rejected anyone that wasn't like them and that was that: the pattern of it.
Non-Clones only knew they didn't fit in because of their appearance. And that's pretty much the gist of it with Bears now: rejection of anyone who doesn't look like they do.
Worse of me, because I do look like one of them, they go ahead and assume I'm of the same mind and point-of-view.
After all that, the title of the entry and my ‘contrarian’ action is simply tongue in cheek.
The ‘expert’ sees the world according to his own expertise (specialization). Generalists see the patterns.
Very nice!
Well this quasi-otter thinks you shouldn't have shaved the beard/mustache off.
Handsome anyway fwiw.
Just wandering by...
Have to agree with some of the above, you are good looking without the beard - but you were WITH the beard so it all works out.
Myself, I haven't been without a mustache since I was about 16 - 32 years! Is there even a lip still in there? Who knows. I'll leave that to an archaeologist.