Speaker Pelosi

There are some things that you just have to say outloud. And often. Say it with me: “Speaker Pelosi!”

Ahhhhh. There. That’s better.

They should sell a contraption to help all the rabid righties out there untwist their knickers, cuz there’s a lot of that going around, I tell you.

All afraid of something they aptly call “San Francisco Values”.

Tell you what: this country could use more than a little dose of San Francisco Values.

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Flippity Floppity

It seems the whole political system has done a flip flop. For so long, it seemed that the Democrats misplaced one foot in front of another, where even to stumble would be an improvement.

Now Nancy Pelosi has hit the ground running and making quite an impression already.

The Republicans, on the other hand…well, just two words: Trent Lott.

Helmet-hair is baaaa-aaaaack!

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“Gay Marriage” and “Pro-Life”

Same-sex Marriage is not gay marriage. It’s marriage. You don’t have to be gay to avail yourself of a same-sex marriage. Just like I can avail myself of the institution of marriage right now, so long as the one I’m marrying has an inny to my out-y.

Pro-Life is not Pro Life: it’s Pro-pagation of the Faith. I should know, I remember the agency’s relationship the Diocese of Scranton. Every Diocese makes obeisance to the Society for the Propagation of the Faith. After all, it’s the sales & marketing arm of the Catholic Church and no amount of truth (or “Truth”) is enough to keep membership up. It’s like KQED and Public Television: it’s free and it’s awesome, but you still have to have membership drives—and some of the funds raised by the membership drive go to fund the next membership drive, etc., etc.

On the other hand, I never thought the word “gay” would be said so frequently and so relatively blithely by everyone. Still, it’s a demonizing word when used to build the phrase “gay marriage”. It’s ironic, too, because as the Rightwingers attempt to separate marriage from gay marriage, their real argument is that people will confuse them as the same thing and therefore the notion of marriage will mean nothing.

You know, it’d be like Baptists saying that Catholics aren’t Christians because if you let the Catholics call themselves Christian then Christianity will be diluted by welcoming everyone to Jesus.

And look! A timely timing for me. Today the Catholics issued a set of guidelines on how to handle the homos. They’re (we’re) supposed to be welcomed, but we’re not to have sex or, god forbid, fall in love. We’re only supposed to ‘come out’ to a ‘small group of people’—I have a feeling that they didn’t explicitly set a number on what constitutes ‘small group’. And if we ‘openly embrace’ the ‘homosexual lifestyle’ (what is this, the 1970s?), then we are not permitted to hold ‘leadership positions’ in the Church. Does that mean that only bottoms of the non-pushy variety are allowed to be as out and proud and stylishly-lived as they wish and still be held close to Jesus’ muscular bosom?

So get it right, folks. It’s same-sex marriage. If you’re straight, you can have one. The gays aren’t interested in abridging straight’s rights. You’d be able to marry within or without your own gender, just like everyone else. As an added bonus, your race will be rendered equally moot with respect to your choices!

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Anagrammizability

I have a totally useless talent: recognizing certain words or names as being more versatile (giggle) for anagrams than others. Sometimes this also means I can fashion good anagrams out of them, but I often just don’t try.

But here we have the ballad of three big losers: Santorum, Allen and Rumsfeld.

Take those three names and what do you get?

LOST MADMEN SNARL, RUEFUL

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Rats Desert a Sinking Ship

The support scaffolding is folding: CNN reports that Rummy is stepping down.

Update: Dobson Quits Haggard Counseling Team, citing “lack of time”. What? Is he too busy spending time with Jones now that he’s got some openings in his schedule?

Update [2006-11-08:10.54] South Dakota voters killed the state abortion ban!

[Faux] Update [2006-11-08:13.26] Marilyn Musgrave switches to panties WITH crotches in them, offering, “they hurt less when they get all twisted up.”

Update [2006-11-08:17.40] Karl Rove’s “the math”

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“I, Rank Scrotum”

That’s R-I-C-K-S-A-N-T-O-R-U-M, anagramized.

Or exposed. Exposed for what he really is. Whatever.

With apologies to the interruption I’m creating in easier-thinking of the right-wing whack-jobs “out” there, I am most certainly not a student of schadenfreude. I don’t enjoy the misfortune of others; however, I don’t have to make the effort to help certain people avoid bad things happening to them.

Sometimes irony is more than just a useful rhetorical device; oftentimes it provide exactly the right camera angle from which to accentuate particularly vicious or vituperative hypocrisy.

The irony of Ted Haggard isn’t that he preached real, if non-physical, violence against gays and their spouses and children and ends up being a big ol’ dicksmoker himself. Nor that he preaches the sanctity of marriage can be achieved/maintained by the simple existence of a law: even thought there are currently laws in place which “protect” heterosexual marriage it doesn’t stop him from desecrating his own holy union by having sex with someone else. Nor do anti-drug laws stop him from spending hundreds of dollars in tithed money on crystal meth while most gay men would try to stop even him from going down the horrible path of crystal meth addiction.

The real irony, to me, is pulling a Clinton with “I didn’t inhale” tactics. He bought crystal multiple times and never used it? Paid an escort several times and got massages? Bullshit. Clinton smoked pot; Haggard smoked meth and dick.

And then Taggard lied about it, several times. Good lord.

But then there’s Rick Santorum, down by “thirteen points!” says Marie.

She asked me if I had plans tomorrow and I said, “just to vote”. She said, with glee, that she expected to be parked in front of the TV to watch Rick Santorum go down in flames. That’s not schadenfreude either; she knows to what extent that man has damaged people both generally and specifically. She knows what’s at stake for her gay son and for other people.

She knows that it’s comeuppance.

I don’t necessarily buy that, nor any of the arguments based on karma or cosmic retribution.

For me it’s much simpler, more concrete: rot at the core spreads outward. And when it starts to smell, there’s no hiding it and there’s no keeping people from distancing themselves from the putrescence.

Rick Santorum is not an honorable anything. He’s a scrote. He’s an opportunist interested only in protecting that which helps him disburse his vile phenotype as widely as possible.

I was going to say ¡adios! to him, but that means “go with god”. Rick is so far gone it’s more valid to say “go to god”. Go, Rick. He misses you. You’ve been too far away from him for too long.

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The John Kerry I Voted For

From Salon.com:

Campaigning with California gubernatorial candidate Phil Angelides Monday, John Kerry told a crowd at Pasadena City College: “You know, education — if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

Kerry’s folks say he was talking about W. and not belittling the troops—many of whom are indeed “stuck” there longer than their tours were supposed to last. I can buy it, if for no other reason that Kerry served in Vietnam and hasn’t ever insulted the troops.

The GOP’s response? In addition to the RNC issuing a knee-jerk press release and John McBushAsslickerCain calling the comment “insensitive”, the White House Snowed in with this (also from Salon):

Tony Snow said today that Kerry “not only owes an apology to those who are serving, but also to the families of those who have given their lives in this.” Snow said that Democratic candidates like Jim Webb and Tammy Duckworth should be asked whether they’re in accord with Kerry’s “absolute insult.”

This is the point, I thought to myself as I read the article, where John Kerry will take 15 minutes to ramble on about the niceties of rhetoric and political stumping and end up with the GOP being the final voice anyone was actually listening to.

But no! Kerry speaks up in the way he spoke up after serving in Vietnam, with conviction and passion. Here’s the remainder of the article:

Kerry will hold a press conference later today. In the meantime, he has issued a statement in which he pushes back hard. “If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they’re crazy,” Kerry said. “This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.”<br/> <br/>Kerry said he won’t be “lectured” by a “stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium” or by “doughy Rush Limbaugh,” and that he’s disgusted when “Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country, lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.” If anyone owes the troops an apology, he said, it’s “George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, who misled America into war and have given us a Katrina foreign policy that has betrayed our ideals, killed and maimed our soldiers, and widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it.”

Wow. Snow = stuffed suit White House mouthpiece. Rush Limbaugh = doughy. And the current reality stated more baldly than any Democrat has been able to do so far.

Is this the tipping point?

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Can I Get an “And”?

Will Al Gore run for office? Will Hillary?

I say both! They should run against each other in the primaries. Get a big pitched battle going, get the country’s majority choosing the better of two who are better than Bush or any Republican. Get the issues out and argued over. Get as much airtime as possible. Own the agenda. Set a progressive against a neo-centrist.

Then, whoever wins obviously becomes the Democratic Presidential candidate, while the other automatically gets added to the ticket as the VP candidate.

All that discourse, all the tilting at progressive issues, all the versus-ing going on all fold in together and back a team of candidates they can love.

And who can win.

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