Pat’s Milkshake is Better Than Yours

Pat Robertson has a Jesus- age defying shake available here. It’s just too fucking weird.

Did you know that if you replace “milkshake” with “Jesus”, you mostly end up with a song about Pat Robertson and his Church Empire 700 Club? No, it’s true! Here:

[Repeat x2]<br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And they’re like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours,<br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> I know you want it, <br/> The thing that makes me, <br/> What the guys go crazy for.<br/> They lose their minds, <br/> The way I wind,<br/> I think it’s time<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> Warm it up.<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> The boys are waiting<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And they’re like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> I can see you’re on it,<br/> You want me to teach thee<br/> Techniques that freaks these boys,<br/> It can’t be bought,<br/> Just know, thieves get caught,<br/> Watch if your smart,<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> Warm it up,<br/> La la-la la la,<br/> The boys are waiting,<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And their like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge<br/> <br/> Oh, once you get involved,<br/> Everyone will look this way-so,<br/> You must maintain your charm,<br/> Same time maintain your halo,<br/> Just get the perfect blend,<br/> Plus what you have within,<br/> Then next his eyes are squint,<br/> Then he’s picked up your scent,<br/> <br/> [Chorus x2]<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> Warm it up,<br/> Lala-lalala,<br/> The boys are waiting,<br/> <br/> My milkshake Jesus brings all the boys to the yard,<br/> And their like<br/> It’s better than yours,<br/> Damn right it’s better than yours, <br/> I can teach you, <br/> But I have to charge

Isn’t that utterly, utterly creepy? However, it does explain a LOT.

Nod to skittles for the original link.

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The Good and Decent Right

It’s a strange tack to take, not only pigeonholing the infinite, but then having the audacity to speak on behalf of His Holy Infinity, but Pat Roberts has managed to do just that. Again.

Now, before I launch into this, I should put Pat in some perspective. He’s not the only Christian who does this sort of thing. Many other Christians climb their bully pulpits every Sunday and remind their fellow Christians that heathens and the profane should fear the Christians. Not only fear the Wrath of God, but fear, in earthly and malevolent ways, Christians.

And to also be fair, there are an enormous number of Christians, who, despite the hubris and pomposity of claiming to know their Creator’s wishes in the first place, are really rather decent, mild, meek, helpful people.

But these days, those people remain silent. Perhaps they’ve bought into being afraid of not toeing the Christian party line, too?

So Pat Robertson, the sore loser (at least ideologically) in Dover, PA, not only tells the fine, smart folks of Dover, PA—who rightly punished those who wanted to suborn science by removing them from power—that they’ve turned from God (hey, I thought “Intelligent Design” wasn’t about God!), but that God has turned from them:

I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city…And don’t wonder why He hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for His help because he might not be there.

Well! How about that, Dover? You’re up shit’s creek without a Deity.

<sarcasm>And then there’s my good buddy, Bill O’Reilly</sarcasm>.

So miffed was he over Prop I, or rather, miffed over the fact that we San Franciscans approved Prop I, that he’s handing us over to the terrorists. It takes him just a little bit of time to get there. First he leads with what each and every one of us who voted in favor of Prop I knew could be the consequences:

You know, if I’m the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, “Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you’re not going to get another nickel in federal funds.”

That’s how our government forces schools to permit military recruiters: by paying them to do so, or at least threatening to starve them of funding if they don’t. I suppose patriotism and sense of duty should be the driving factors, but, whatever.

But then he becomes his usual insane self. You can almost hear the wheels fall off the wagon of his sanity:

Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead…And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we’re not going to do anything about it. We’re going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.

Didn’t he just commit an act of treason? And more to the point, isn’t he going to get stretchmarks? All this from the man who wants his values pushed in schools and will do anything, no matter how unsavory, to make that happen, ranting at a bunch of people who want their values reflected in schools and actually go through a constitutionally-approved, let-the-voters-decide procedure to make that happen? Why, Bill, one might think you’re a hypocrite, if you’re not careful.

So Pat Robertson hands Dover, PA over to the forces of Hell, and Bill O’Reilly encourages terrorists to blow up San Francisco.

Where are the hoody’s and the Vigilante Papists and the Aquinas-brown-nosers and the teen-age martinet-marionettes railing about God’s love and how these people should be punished for their moral relativism? Probably we’ll hear apologies, excuses, rationalizations, because clearly sacrificing people for their own agenda is more important than the pro-life agenda itself.

Watch, world. Watch how the theocrats decry nothing.

You didn’t hear it here first.

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A Propped Up Guv

The huge corporations Republicans One-Terminator has pushed for this expensive special election, putting any number of propositions on the ballot to further entrench big businesses, take away money from schools and actually attempt to create activist judges in state politics.

Isn’t it strange that he spends so much time and money putting things in front of the people to know what they are thinking, but vetoes without a second thought, the legislature-approved same-sex marriage bill based on five year old data? Why didn’t he put it on the ballot this year, during the special election, so he—a true man of the American people—could find out what the people thought?

He figures that most liberals will not bother voting, but I saw in the paper this morning that voter turnout is expected to be nearly 7 million. I’m going to be sure to get out and vote down some of these heinous things. I love how the Republicans accuse the liberals of social engineering, then crap out things like Prop 73. Stupid, duplicitous assholes.

So get your ass out and vote! Don’t let them win because decent people did nothing to stop them.

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Pandemic?

MADIGAN ARMY MEDICAL CENTER, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash. —

COVID-19 has changed many of our daily routines in a way no one anticipated. Many of us are at home more to minimize exposure. Isolation and being at home can illicit the temptation to eat snacks high in sodium, junk food and low-quality meals that provide instant gratification for our taste buds rather than nutrient-dense whole foods that can also be delicious. This is a challenge for many in these times of social distancing and self-isolation. Check out the latest glucofort reviews.

A day that may have previously included many steps, physical activities like walking from your car at your workplace parking lot twice per day, shopping for groceries, outings with the family or visiting shopping mall are absent for many. With this unprecedented lifestyle shift, there is a potential for the normalization of a more sedentary lifestyle packed with activities like watching television, sitting while reading for long periods, or sitting at your computer for longer-than-usual periods of time. We must stay proactive, and in some cases creative, to maintain an active lifestyle in the era of social-distancing. Even if you are not directly affected by COVID-19, or tested positive, it no doubt has had a drastic impact on your day-to-day routine, which could negatively affect your overall health.

So what are some things we can do to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle and routine while the world around us has adapted to limiting exposure to COVID-19?

  • Stay active: The gyms may not be open, however, there are lots of safe alternatives to getting physical activity without going against the preventive best practices recommended by the CDC like social distancing and avoiding large crowds. Aerobics can be done successfully at home. Another important point to consider is that avoiding crowds does not mean avoiding nature. Going for a brisk walk or jog outside in uncrowded areas outdoors is still considered relatively safe.  Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping-jacks and more exercises are great ways to stay fit away from the gym. For more ideas, visit: https://www.aflcmc.af.mil/News/Article-Display/Article/2147181/staying-physically-active-during-covid-19/.
  • Adequate sleep: Good sleep is essential to our overall health. According to The National Institutes of Health (NIH), a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the nation’s leading medical research agency: “Immune system activation alters sleep, and sleep in turn affects the innate and adaptive arm of our body’s defense system.”  While the amount of sleep needed for good health and optimum performance mostly depends on the individual, the CDC recommends adults age 18-60 years get seven or more hours of sleep per night.
  • Diet and nutrition: Practicing self-discipline and avoiding “emotional eating” due to stress that may be related to the drastic changes surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic and how it affects our lives is imperative. According to the CDC, whole foods like dark, leafy greens, oranges and tomatoes—even fresh herbs—are loaded with vitamins, fiber and minerals. Make it a habit to try to eat more whole nutritious foods instead of processed snacks or fast food. This is how Synogut works as a healthy supplement.
  • Self-care: Take time to take care of yourself. Be supportive and suggest the same for those close to you. Meditation, relaxation, quality time with family, personal care of yourself promotes overall wellness. The Defense Health Agency (DHA) has free, evidence-based, self-care tools developed by psychologists that you can check out here: https://health.mil/About-MHS/OASDHA/Defense-Health-Agency/Operations/Clinical-Support-Division/Connected-Health/mHealth-Clinical-Integration
  • Healthcare maintenance: If you have medications prescribed for any condition, be sure to take them as directed by your provider. Chronic conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, asthma and many others should be kept in check with taking your medications as prescribed. Be sure to reach out to your healthcare team with any concerns as well. In the age of COVID-19, telehealth solutions are available if you want to speak with a provider about a health concern unrelated to COVID-19. Madigan patients, for instance, can still utilize Secure Messaging in the MHS GENESIS Patient Portal to request an appointment or call the Puget Sound Military Appointment Center at 1-800-404-4506 to schedule a telehealth appointment.
  • Cope with stress and anxiety: Positively cope with stress and anxiety induced by new precautions we must all now take to combat the spread of COVID-19 in our communities. Positive coping mechanisms would include exercise, meditation, reading, further developing certain skills or hobbies etc. Use this era to increase your daily repetition of these positive activities and develop new or even better routines than you may have adhered to prior to the emergence of the current COVID-19 pandemic.
  • Stay connected: Talking with loved ones while in isolation can help reduce the anxiety and instances of feeling down. Take time to utilize the multitudes of technologies and apps (many free) that can help you stay in touch with those you love. Our busy lives before the COVID-19 may have limited how often we connected with distant loved ones, now’s the time to fully exploit these modern capabilities for fellowship, companionship, and camaraderie.

Dear Arnold…

You came to this country to show off ornanamental muscles. Style over substance, form over function. Aesthetics over athletics.

Like the cuckoo among nobler, more honest birds, you deceived your way into place. You hooked yourself into the glam slam no-work no-talent ironic celebrity and milked and bilked millions to make your own millions.

Like the cuckoo, you did no real work yourself—you tricked others into building your future for you. And counting on the baser instincts of the mob mentality, you took your recognizability and co-opted yourself an executive position. Still on no-talent. Still with no-work. Still by subverting someone else’s machinery.

You, the man who got so much on so little, you who came to this country as an alien but were welcome and were lavished with abundance, see fit to pass the buck, pass the responsibility of fairness, of balance, of equality, back off to the mob of people out there who stab and swipe at fear with their torches and their pitchforks.

But then again, you haven’t vetoed such profoundly, humanly important legislation yet, so you may yet do the right thing. Such an in-kind act on your part may open up a bright world for yourself and the rest of us.

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Too Much Credit

I hear lines like, “It flies in the the face of natural selection (any hereditary gene for homosexuality would have selected itself out many generations ago). Therefore I ask again, where is the SCIENCE that supports homosexuality?”

Siiiigh.

Maybe I should start a little series of lessons to let these ignorant-yet-bellicose folks in on science’s dirty little secrets?

Til then, don’t give them too much credit, folks. Don’t assume that they’ve taken basic science plowshares and perverted them into swords of christian kindness. No, they don’t even know where to find the plowshares in the first place.

It gets worse, though. They won’t actually go look up what ‘natural selection’ might be, in fact, instead pushing the legwork onto those of us under the onslaught of this kind of stupidity. Ironically, they know there are those who old fact and scientific truth on a bit of a pedestal, so they exploit our care and rigor to keep us busy while they just continue to blather utter nonsense.

Last time I checked, one typically challenged what they knew to be incorrect, not what they didn’t bother to understand in the first place.

I guess they figure, if it works for secular conservatives, why not us?

Wait…did I just say “secular conservatives”? Are there any left?

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And a Fine ‘Fuck You’ to Ann Coulter!

Praying works!

yes, she's a cuntI prayed for Tucson in my day, because I was told to by a billboard. Prayed that Tucson—or at least the rest of Arizona—would trade in the stick for a carrot (carrots, at the minimum, are more soft-tissue-friendly!) and stop turning the entire state into one giant prison for all sinners criminals great and small.

Well, I haven’t gotten that wish yet, but small steps, right? What I have gotten is this:

From the Arizona Daily Star in Tucson:

Finally, we’ve decided that syndicated columnist Ann Coulter has worn out her welcome. Many readers find her shrill, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives.

Now, it turns out that she’s being replaced by one of the martinets fuckheads Murdoch’s chattel “journalists” of FOXNews, Tony Snow, but…small steps, right?

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Pro-Life Pat Robertson

Nods to him for the pointer on this one.

Seems the Pro-Life Pat Robertson is calling for the assassination of another human being.

Think the “@%#$@#$% liberal media” is at it again, making trouble for a humble man of god? Think again. The New York Times starts off its article with this line:

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson has suggested that American agents assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to stop his country from becoming “a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism.”

“Suggests!” you say! Clearly it’s a witch-hunt! Well, it might be, if the Times hadn’t quoted Robertson directly, just three paragraphs later:

“We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator,” he [Pat Robertson] continued. “It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

So where’s the moral outrage from those self-appointed absolutists? Catholic brown-nosers? Little Calvinists in Papist clothing?

Maybe the Catholics are too busy dissecting the threat of—wait for it—hand-holding during Mass!—to be bothered with calling out murder-threats made by one of their god-ridden own.

But, I suppose, there’s too much political loss associated with in-fighting to be bothered with things like a call for murder.

Speak up, folks. Tell us how Pro-Life you are, and what you’re going to do, quite publically, to defend that stance.

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