Someones I Used To Know

Facebook is a mixed bag.

536707 3961931881791 125542098 nAnd that may be the hugest understatement that’s ever made it onto these pages.

Its connections can go broad: when it’s about now, you interact with people from everywhere. Its connections can go deep: when it’s about all your Here’s, you interact with people from your own everywhens.

It’s one’s own past that gathers the moss—and the weeds and the mud and the sticks and the brambles and all the moist forms of ick that tend to ferment in monoclonal populations. This is where “multicultural” fails: when two or more otherwise monocultural populations finally mingle and clash. When it succeeds is when we each and all “bring our own” cultures and share. In other words, a polyclonal population. Culturally speaking, of course. No, on the non-Petri dish level. Yes, there.

But back to Facebook. Literally this time. I jumped in to a “discussion” already in progress. Why the scare quotes? Why am I asking ‘why the scare quotes?’ when it’s Facebook?

Because as much as my good friend Bill from the way-back machine tried to herd the god-awe-full cat, to catch the slithering slimy sacramental serpent, another way-backer (that’d be the god-awe-full one) was relentlessly ignoring him by pressing on and making the same demands that the game be played according to the classic right-wing whack job playbook. You know, the one that starts with the entitlement/assumption/insistence/imposition that we all believe in the same god, the same version of their god, the same instance of their god, that they do.

I jumped in, as I said. Only as I started to write something, it turned into something else. Something more general and so more…let’s call it archival-quality. And I remembered: hey, I have a blog!

So here it is, with the pointy references smoothed and the open ends annealed, but otherwise as-was.

[…] Homosexual here.

But I prefer the term “gay”. It’s interesting that “you people” always run as fast as you can towards the Greek-derived terms when you want to dehumanize a group of people or a condition (Greek derivations are more clinical) and you run as fast as you can towards Latin/Roman-derived terms when you want to gloss over what medical/psychology clinicians have plenty of non-normative Greek-derived terms for the issues that conservatives—particularly the religious ones—have with change. You’re damned afraid of the future, of progress, of anything that steps away from your good old days of absolutist-antiquity and towards modernity.

Thing is, that homosexuality is about a whole lot more than sex or sexuality. Unless you want to concede right here and right now that YOUR — I’ll take this on faith — heterosexuality is about no more and no less than what makes you tumescent and where you want to put your penis (all clinical terms).

That your heterosexuality has nothing to do with love, or family, or society, or the brotherhood and sisterhood of humanity. Nothing to do with sharing with those around you the extra good will that your loving familial (spousal and other) relationships creates.

I’m not going to argue sin with you. Or god. Or religion. Or any one (or more) of the versions of the christian bible. You are far too limited in this respect and the dialog is far too limited when your bible(s) set the rules of the game.


I know you think you know better. I know you think that god is everywhere and universal and so he (apparently god is omniscient but not omnisexual — or omnigendered, take your pick) applies to everyone whether we “believe” or not, but at this point I’m completely done with humoring the irrationality of those who insist I buy into their invisible-absentee-father-in-the-sky constructs.

I’m just done with it.

Accept that or don’t, but if you’re going to live in a real world and interact with it, I’d suggest you accept that gay people exist; that sexual behavior is nearly the *last* thing on the list of differences that being gay is about; that most people on this planet don’t care about your god; and that you have to live in this world with the rest of us.

It’s up to you to take it or leave it. It’s NOT up to us to accept your god into our hearts.

He’s all yours, not mine — a fact that has nothing to do with anything you believe in.

Leap Day

Happy Birthday to Kevin Kreidler. We were inseparable in High School. I was Best Man at his wedding.

He was born on February 29, 1964. Ain’t that a bitch?

Worse still, we have lost each other over the years, and that’s a bigger bitch.

Still, it’s not about me, it’s about Kevin. He’s a 44-year old man who’s only had eleven birthdays.

It’s sort of like dog-years. Well, at least 4/7 (0.57142857) of ‘em.